Here’s to the Game Changers!
Have you ever met a game changer? Someone who takes everything you thought you knew about how to do something and completely turns it upside down for you to give you a new perspective? Someone whose perspective influences you in a way you never saw coming? I hope you have. They are the game changers. They are the people who make you a better person, just by meeting them. I’m going to tell you a story about one woman and her family. She is my game changer. I don’t think she knows it though… (I guess she’s about to find out)!
In order to tell this story I have to go back almost 9 years. To where this story begins for me. Many many people have wider versions of this story. Bigger and bolder versions of this story. Because this story is really about a big man with a big personality, and a big heart who happens to have really amazing parents. This is a story about my friend ‘Big Doug’. To be fair, I did not really get to know Doug the way many of his very large group of friends did. I was only introduced to his circle a short time earlier. But I could tell by the way people spoke that this was a good guy. And not just like “meh, yeah, (shoulder shrug) that Doug, he’s a good guy”, but like “no for real - Doug is one of THE best”.
About 8 and a half years ago, Doug was involved in a pretty bad vehicle accident. His vehicle collided with the back end of a semi truck. My husband and I went to visit Doug in the hospital and although he was pretty banged up we were able to chat for a bit and it seemed like he would make a full recovery. On the drive home that day my husband talked about how badly mangled the truck was and said aloud “Anyone but Big Doug never would’ve walked away from that wreck”. Shortly after being released from hospital Doug started experiencing other symptoms and so he was readmitted two days later. Doctor’s seemed to have trouble identifying the problem at first. He had a bad cough and pain in his chest. Doug had contracted Blastomycosis. A nasty fungal infection that can lie dormant in the lungs until the body experiences some sort of other sickness or trauma resulting in a weakened immune system (in this case Doug’s vehicle accident). We were all shocked and devastated to learn that Doug lost his battle and passed away in late June .
It was at Doug’s Celebration of Life that I met (I mean really met) his mom Henrietta Gibson. I will never ever forget watching this woman walk across the room towards the table where I was seated with many of Doug’s close friends. I really could not comprehend what I was witnessing. Here was a woman who had just lost her only son. I had expected to see a shell of a woman, crushed by the unimaginable grief that she was experiencing. I had expected to see a woman who could barely stand under all the weight of heartache, let alone put one foot in front of the other. And yet, there she was. Like a powerful beacon of grace and strength moving towards us. Almost honing in on the hurt she saw on the faces of her son’s friends so that she could encourage them. Wow. I watched her move from one end of the table slowly and with purpose. She stopped at each one of us to give a hug and share a few words of condolence. I watched as each friend gently fell onto Henrietta’s tiny frame like waves rolling onto shore, and how she embraced each of them. I held my breath. Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I am a crier. An UGLY crier. As much as I try to hold it in, it almost always comes pouring out of me in the most uncontrollable way. It should also be noted that at this time I was also about 7 months pregnant with my daughter, and so I was already a basket of ugly hormones and heightened emotions. I silently prayed that Henrietta would not approach me. I knew I had one job to do in that moment and that none of it included leaving a face full of tears and runny nose on Henrietta’s shoulder. I needed to keep it together. I was almost in a state of panic when she reached me, arms outstretched. I had no choice. I reached towards her to accept her embrace and was instantly changed. Henrietta hugged me that day so tightly and with so much of her heart. I quickly learned that the ‘Henri Hug’ is a coined term and that it is a VERY powerful and very beautiful thing to receive. Her hug spoke to me a million emotions that our lips could never put into words. Her hug laid out her anguish, and her hurt, but it also laid out her strength, and her love, and her hope. It was a GAME CHANGER. In that moment while we embraced and I prayed to God that he would keep me from falling apart, I learned more about what it meant to be a friend, and a parent, and a child than I had in all my 30 years on this planet. I learned that strength exists amid brokenness and that calm exists amid the chaos of the heart and the mind. It was a very VERY powerful moment for me.
Since then I have gotten to know Henrietta and Rick more each year. They are among the most genuine people I have ever met. Always ready with a kind word of encouragement or a famous ‘Henri hug’! But last year in April I learned something quite remarkable about their son Doug. A mutual friend of ours had a son. They named him Branch Douglas. I had done Branch’s newborn portraits and I shared a sneak peek on my Facebook page. Well, Henrietta is literally one of my biggest supporters and it didn’t take long for her to see the post with baby Branch’s cute little newborn face! She commented on how proud she was to now have a Logan Douglas, Mason Douglas, Chase Douglas, and Branch Douglas as honorary grandsons. Well, let me tell you - my brain pretty much exploded. Not one, not two, not three, but FOUR (4)!!! families had thought so highly of Doug that they had named their own children after him! WOW! I sat at my computer and thought - “Well shit, (pardon me), what does that say about the people who raised him??!!” To have four people name their child after your son??!! What an incredible honour but also what an amazing testament to the man that Doug was! I knew I needed to do something!
And so, as with many projects I under take , it took me months… almost a whole year in fact to get started on it. But this January I contacted the parents of the four Douglas boys and started planning. Everyone was immediately on board with the idea but unfortunately one of the families lives in another province and was unable to make it for the photoshoot. I also happen to work with an amazing hair and makeup artist (Shauna Burton of Mesmereyez’ed Makeup) and so one day while we were prepping for a shoot I had casually mentioned to her that I was planning this special photoshoot for a couple whose son had passed away. We talked about it for a bit when I mentioned Henrietta’s name. Shauna looked me in the eye and said “You’re not talking about Henrietta Gibson are you?!” Well wouldn’t you know when someone is an amazing human being, word gets around! Shauna offered to help out with hair and makeup for the session and donated her time to make things extra special for Henrietta! So last weekend, we all met up and I got the opportunity to photograph Rick and Henrietta along with three of their honorary grandsons! It was truly an amazing experience. There were tears, but there was also a lot of laughter! There were three boys who all got to hear stories about the man they were named after and two truly amazing individuals who got to say they are the proud parents of a remarkable man whom we called Big Doug. Oh, and did I mention I got several AMAZING Henri hugs that day? Well, I did!
Here are a few of the images from the session!
I want to extend a huge thank you to Craig and Chelsey and their son Logan, Cindy and Murray and their son Chase, and Mark and Ashley and their son Branch for making all of this possible! Also to Shauna Burton at Mesmereyez’ed Makeup for making Henri feel confident and beautiful! And most importantly to Rick and Henrietta - for raising such a great son and really just for being the people that you are. We love you guys!
Thanks for reading, and God bless,